The Good Old College Try
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: Goes AU from The Extract Obliteration in the "what if" sense. In this fic, Leonard reads Penny's paper, but he doesn't tell her he read it, and he doesn't re-write it.
1. Chapter 1

**So Penny's line in last week's episode "If I pass, I pass, if I fail, I fail," made me wonder…what would have happened if he hadn't re-written her paper? How would her class have gone? It turned into a plot bunny that would not hop away even when I tempted it with carrots and other tasty bunny food.**

**So anyway, setting for this: Leonard reads her paper, but doesn't re-write it or tell her that he read it. Here we go.**

Penny cuddled closer to Leonard and put her lips near his ear. "Good morning!" She said brightly. Her arm was already around his stomach, so she squeezed him gently as she spoke.

He craned his neck around to see her. "Hey-y," he said, smiling. He kissed her forehead. "How'd you sleep?"

"Ah, I slept great," she said. "You?"

"I slept pretty well," Leonard said. "Until a few hours ago. Then I…I woke up."

"Aw, why'd you wake up?" She asked, sitting up and running a hand through his hair.

"Well…" Leonard looked up at her. "You know how sometimes you think of something you want to do, but you know that you can't do it, but then you can't go to sleep because you can't stop thinking about it, and you know you're doing the right thing, but it's not what you want to do?"

Penny smiled down at him. "Well, if it helps, I know what you're talking about, and believe me, you did the right thing."

Leonard frowned. "You know what I'm talking about?"

"Of course," she said. "You wanted more of this college girl, but knew that you needed to let me sleep because I have class today." She bent down and kissed him. "Right?"

Leonard looked confused for a moment, and then smiled. "Yes, yes, that's exactly what it was. I," he said, shifting his weight so he was almost into a sitting position, "just couldn't stop thinking about the sexy college girl that I slept with last night. But, you know, I couldn't do anything that would possibly affect her grade…bad or, or good, so after wandering around a bit, I resisted the temptation, came back to bed, and just pretended to be asleep."

"Well," Penny said, "my class isn't until after lunch, and I'm feeling _pretty _rested, so…" She put her hands on his neck as he rolled over, and kissed him as he pushed her down against the mattress.

* * *

Penny handed her paper in to the professor and headed to her seat. "So," he said, facing the class. "We're going to make a list of the issues that were covered in your papers. Who has a position that they want to share?"

Penny and several others raised their hands. Professor Robertson called on a guy in the front that looked several years younger than Penny. "I talked about how the expansion of the West kept slavery front and center in the government."

"Good!" Said Robertson, writing it on the chalkboard. "Very good. Anyone else? Yes, Jennifer?"

"My main point revolved around how the invention of the cotton gin turned what was becoming a dying practice into a booming economy."

"Good," Robertson said. "I like how you guys are picking out some of the most important points that we talked about in class and turning them into your theses. Anyone else?"

Penny's arm was hurting from being held up so long, and she was glad when Robertson finally called on her. "My viewpoint on the subject is that slavery is bad," she said.

The class burst out laughing. Penny felt her cheeks get hot as she looked around. What was so funny? She looked to the professor for clarity. His eyebrows were higher than she'd ever seen anyone's – even Leonard's.

"O-kay," the professor said. "Penny, I'm sure you're just trying to be funny, but I have limited time with you guys each week, so I'd prefer if you'd share the less obvious parts of your paper with the class."

Penny was still confused. What was wrong with her viewpoint? Slavery _was_ bad. She swallowed. Her tactic when she was confused was to just back out, so she cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, Professor. I have an odd sense of humor on Mondays."

He nodded to her and looked at the sea of students. "Anyone else? Yes, Ben?"

Penny sank down in her seat, wishing she could be invisible. She'd spent four hours writing that paper, why had people laughed at her main point? Why did Robertson think that she was joking? Was 'slavery is bad' the wrong answer? It couldn't be…he implied that it was obvious.

Penny put a hand over her eyes. Trying to figure this out involved too much thinking. She'd done enough of that on the paper…a lot of good that had done.

But maybe it wasn't as bad as she thought. Surely once Robertson read her paper he'd see what she was talking about.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, lovely Big Bang Theory fanfic readers. How I've missed writing for you all. Here's chapter two, this will be at least a half dozen chapters depending on how I decide to spread things out.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed chapter one. I heart you.  
**

"So," Leonard asked her later that day, as they shared a pizza at her table, "how was your class today?"

"Oh," Penny said, sitting up a little straighter, "it was good."

"Oh yeah?" Leonard asked, smiling.

"Yeah," she said. "Turned in my paper, had a class discussion, it's good! I can totally see why you decided to spend your entire life in a school and…" she trailed off. "Okay, I don't get _that_ just yet, but yeah, it's interesting."

"Good," Leonard said, reaching across the table to squeeze her hand. "Good!" He looked down at his pizza, pulling off the cheese and setting it to the side.

"You're so wasteful," Penny said disapprovingly. "This is good food."

"I'm lactose intolerant," Leonard reminded her. "You wouldn't want to spend the rest of the evening with me if I ate this cheese."

"I don't mean throw it out," Penny said, reaching over and taking the glob of cheese off the plate. She tipped her head back and dropped it into her mouth. "I mean give it to me!" she said around the cheese, her voice sounding like "umme giffit omay."

"Lucky for you I speak fluent Mouth Full of Food," Leonard joked. "So…Penny."

She swallowed the cheese. "Yeah?"

"Um…" he hesitated. "I…I just want to make sure that you know that college is a real step up from high school. Even a city college, the way that professors grade is…"

"Excuse me," Penny said, "_even_ a city college? What the Hell is that supposed to mean, _even?_ Is that not a real college or something?"

"That's not what I'm saying," Leonard said quickly. "I'm just making sure that you're aware that there's a learning curve in what a professor is looking for in essays and papers. If the first grade you get isn't what you were hoping for, then there's always the next time. You can form study groups, or ask people in your life for help, or go off the comments the professor made on your last work and greatly improve the next one. What?" he asked, looking confused as Penny glared at him with her arms crossed.

"I cannot believe you," she said.

"Can't believe what about me?" Leonard said. "I really can't eat that cheese."

"Don't try to distract me with jokes," she snapped. "I know what's going on here."

"Um," Leonard said hesitantly, "I don't think you do. I'm just trying…"

"Well, stop trying," she said. "Yes, I'm at a city college, I have no idea if my class transfers to a four year but that's not my goal right now. Right now I'm just seeing how this goes. Call it an experiment. You can't start out with a bag of corn and start talking about finding out about Nitrogen. You have to figure out the bag of corn first. This class is my bag or corn. I'll find out about Nitrogen later. You don't have to cheapen my college experience by belittling the school I'm going to, the class I'm in, or the grade I may or may not get."

"When was I belittling you?" Leonard asked. "I brought up the four year college _once_, and that was just a tip. If I was out looking for shoes, I'd ask you because you know more about shoes than I do. I'm offering you help in your class because it's something that I _can_ help you with."

"Because you're so smart and I'm so dumb," Penny said.

"That's been said more than once in this relationship but it's _never _come out of my mouth," he snapped.

"Because you're too ashamed of my intelligence to bring it up?" Penny asked, rising.

"Where are you getting this?" Leonard said, standing up. "I don't _care_ if you have a doctorate or a master's or a bachelor's or a GED or a diploma. I love you for who you are, not who you might be!"

He stopped. He wasn't expecting _I love you_ to come out of his mouth and he paled as he anticipated her reaction to him bringing _that_ into the room again.

But to his surprise, she acted as if he hadn't said anything at all. "Look, Leonard," she said, "I get that I'm just in a stupid little two year college. I don't have a planned major, and I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. I know I'm not as smart as you and I know I never will be, would you please just let it go?"

"Fine," Leonard said, sitting down. "I'm just trying to help."

"Well, I don't need your help," she said, grabbing a handful of melted cheese off of the pizza and spiking it against his jacket. "See you later." She grabbed her purse, slinging it over her shoulder, and left her apartment, letting the door slam behind her.

* * *

Amy and Bernadette stared at her, then glanced at each other. "You…threw cheese at him?" Bernadette asked, cocking her head to the side and looking over at her.

Penny kept her arms crossed. "Yes."

"I once threw cheese at someone I was mad at," Amy said. "Of course, I was five."

Penny glared. "You weren't there."

"From what you've told us, he didn't do anything to warrant being at the impact end of a food fight," Bernadette said. "Even the microbes I work with don't attack without cause."

"Just…" Penny turned her palms toward the ceiling. "Everything he says sounds so condescending. He's so smart, and so when he tells me anything, it sounds like he's talking down to me."

"So you threw cheese at him?" Bernadette said again. "I mean…really?"

"You guys think I overreacted?" Penny asked.

"I think that I can get a monkey to play my harp," Amy said. "I _know_ you overreacted."

"Has Leonard actually said that he doesn't feel you're worthy of him unless you have a college degree?" Bernadette asked.

"Well…" she shrugged. "Well, you know he thinks it!"

"Do you though?" Amy asked. "What if he really doesn't care?

"Okay," Penny said, leaning back in the chair and looking up. "I don't want him to help me because I don't want him to see specifically what I'm doing. He'll want to help, he'll want to alter it, and I want to get a good grade on my own and then he'll be proud of me."

"I thought you didn't want to hear him say he was proud of you?" Bernadette said, looking confused.

"Who's proud of someone for enrolling in one class?" Penny said. "I fully expect him to be proud of me once I get a good grade."

"And he probably fully expects you to think he's being condescending if he _does_ congratulate you on your grade," Amy said.

"So basically what you're saying is that all three of you guys think I'm some sort of walking, talking hypocrite." Amy and Bernadette looked at each other. "You do!" she said, standing up. "I thought you were supposed to be my friends."

"Friendship isn't always about blindly taking sides," Bernadette said. "It's also about helping each other grow. You guys helped me get over my issue with Howard going to space. You helped Amy make a scene in front of Sheldon."

"Now we're trying to help you see that Leonard only means well and if he didn't care about you, he wouldn't be making the effort," Amy said.

"You're the only one pressuring yourself, Penny," Bernadette said. "I think deep down, you want to be as smart as him, and it frustrates you that you…" she trailed off when Penny glared her way. "…that you haven't had as much education as he has."

Penny sat down. "I just want to prove to him that I'm not useless."

"You will," Bernadette said. "You said you felt good about your paper, right?"

The laughter from her class echoed in Penny's mind. _But hey, _she thought, _they're in the class, too. They're learning like me. What do they know? _"Yes," she said.

"Okay then," Bernadette said. "Get your grade the day after tomorrow, take it over there, and show him."

"And when he tells you 'good job', don't freak out at him," Amy said. "That's kinda just something you say."

"But he'll mean it," Bernadette added quickly.

"Not in a condescending way," Amy added.

"Because a healthy relationship is telling someone how you feel."

"And he'll feel proud."

"Because he'll know how hard you worked and how much you wanted the grade."

The two women looked at each other and smiled, then looked back at Penny. "Got it?"

Penny looked less angry now, and more amused. "Yeah, I think so."

"Just remember," Bernadette said, smiling. "If you did well on the paper, you have nothing to worry about-you won't need Leonard's or anyone's help. And once he sees that, he'll probably stop offering."

"Right," Penny said, nodding. "Just do well. That's all it takes."


	3. Chapter 3

**First and foremost, I would like to apologize for making you guys wait nearly two weeks for an update. Time slipped away from me, school is increasingly difficult as I maneuver my way through the university, and I haven't had near enough spare time as I would like.**

**Here's the next chapter. : ) I still don't own squat. Balls.**

Penny's heart didn't sink. It felt like her whole body sank, sank down through the desk, through the floor, and into the grimy basement below the classroom.

The big, red D stared back at her from the top of the paper, the red corrections, all the times that the professor had suggestions as to what could be made better, where almost every line on the once professional looking, neatly typed paper. Penny looked carefully at the mark, hoping that maybe it was just a sloppy way of writing a B. But no, the professor had oddly neat handwriting, even his corrections weren't scribbled, as many as there were, and there was no mistaking the abysmal grade that was stamped at the top of the paper that she had been so proud of.

"Now, class," said the professor, standing at his podium and surveying the students before him, "you all now have your papers back. Some of you did quite well, others didn't do so well. Some of you probably did better than you were expecting, some probably not as well as they'd hoped. But I must say that I'm proud of the class as a whole. The overall grade was very, very good, so you should feel good about yourselves."

He continued on, but Penny wasn't listening. She was one who hadn't done well, not as well as she expected, and certainly not well _enough_ – what was a D, anyway? A one point? – for her to pretend to be happy with it. That was as good as failure, even if it might technically pass her. And there was still a project and a final paper before the semester ended…what if she only did worse? She was sure that the demand would be greater and greater the farther that the class progressed, even if it was only an into class.

A student near her did his best to cover up a yawn at what the professor was saying. _Great,_ Penny thought. _He finds this so easy he's bored._ She glanced around the room. None of the other students seemed to be upset about their grades _I bet I was the only one who didn't do well_ and they either seemed bored to death by what the professor was saying, or they seemed overly engaged. No one looked confused. They were all smarter than her _why is everyone smarter than me? _And were probably taking this class as either a blow off, an elective, or it was one of those prerequisites that they were chomping at the bit to get through so they could take the classes that would challenge them.

And here she was. Struggling. Failing papers that she suspected were supposed to be easy – at least as much as college allowed things to be easy.

She flipped her paper over again, just in case she was mistaken about the grade. She wasn't. She turned it back over so fast that the paper's contact with the desk caused a few students sitting around her to turn and look curiously. Penny raised her eyebrows and offered a quick smile in the hopes that they would lose interest in her. They did, turning back to the professor.

Penny tapped her pencil on the desk, watching the eraser bounce up over and over and glad that she was using that end for her nervous habit than the end with the graphite; that would just make people look at her again. Suddenly she realized that she was the only blonde in the class – real blonde, anyway – and she wondered why Leonard's beautiful universe wanted to play such jokes on her.

* * *

Upon getting home, Penny stuck a note under Leonard's door saying that she was going out with friends, locked her door, and sat on the couch to read her professor's notes.

_Details?_

_Where is your supporting evidence? You cannot just make a statement and expect everyone to know why you have this position._

_The cotton gin is not a beverage._

And so on, every line, some suggestion, some grammar error – damn you, Microsoft Word, you're supposed to catch those – some sort of thing that she had done wrong. And then there was that D, that capital D, which might as well have been in bold face and underlined. D stood for _disgrace, downfall, _and _dumb._

Which were all words that Penny felt belonged in the dictionary next to her name. Penny. The coin that was worth so little that some felt it should be completely eliminated as a form of currency.

**Sorry this one was a little shorter - how about I make it up to you all by not making you wait eleven days for an update? :) Check tomorrow, I may have something more for you then.**

**Hope you enjoyed it, and as I always have, I love reviews. ;)  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**So it turns out that being on a break from school no longer means more time to write. I think as I get older holidays are going to get more and more hectic. Not to mention I type at the kitchen counter, so when family is around talking and watching the TV in the living room (but the TV's about five feet from the aforementioned counter) it's really hard to focus. But anyway, here's the next chapter!**

**I'm just gonna stop promising when I'll update. Just know I always will.**

"So, I was thinking that tonight we could go out for Chinese food," Leonard said, handing Penny a bottle of water as he sat down next to her. "I know we get that a lot, but it's always us staying in, eating with the group, but this would be just you and me."

"Oh," she said, "that sounds lots of fun, but…" she trailed off. "I – I can't."

"Why not?" Leonard asked curiously.

"I have to study," Penny lied. "I have a test tomorrow and I'm going to be studying all night for it."

"Have you been studying?" Leonard asked.

"Yeah," Penny said. "I just really want to make sure that I know everything."

"That's good," Leonard said. "Because, you know, cramming for tests is proven to not be nearly as beneficial as studying a little bit each night and then reviewing the night before and the morning of. Most people that leave their main studying perform on average…"

"Leonard, I know, okay?" Penny said. "I know that cramming is stupid, and I'm not doing that." She heard the sound of plastic crunching and realized she was squeezing the water bottle. "Have a little faith in me, won't you?"

Leonard frowned. "I do have faith in you. I'm sure you're ready for the test. If you study and work hard, there's nothing you can't do. I just wanted to give some advice, you know, as your boyfriend."

"Yeah, well, I don't need your advice for something that I'm already doing," Penny said. "If I start doing something wrong, then you can help me."

Leonard was silent. "I can't help you if I don't know if anything's wrong."

"Why would you just assume something's wrong?" Penny asked angrily. "I get that I'm just a waitress, but that doesn't mean I can't still achieve whatever I want to if I work hard enough!" She wanted to chuck her water at him as she left, but she could only imagine Amy and Bernadette's reactions to _that_, especially after her last story. So she got up, looked down at him, and just shook her head. "I gotta go and study. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Are we still dating?" he called after her as she shut the door.

She opened it again. "Of course we're still dating! God, Leonard, get some self – confidence." She let the door slam just a little bit harder behind her than the first time.

Upon entering her apartment, Penny closed the door and backed up against it, letting out a heavy sigh and closing her eyes. Afraid that Sheldon might come home and hear her, Penny moved away from the hallway, crossing her apartment and making it to her bedroom before collapsing on the floor and bursting into tears. It was the second time that day.

_If you study and work hard, there's nothing you can't do,_ Leonard had told her. _  
_

Penny used to believe that. She used to believe that anytime she didn't do well in school, it was somehow her fault. She wasn't studying hard enough, she wasn't paying enough attention in class, she wasn't eating right.

But after today, she no longer knew what to think. The only remaining solution seemed to be that she just wasn't good enough.

_Penny exited the building and made her way to her car, her pace quickening as she walked as the need to reach the vehicle and be alone increased. The tears that she'd held back through the entire class period were welling up and she no longer had the defenses to hold them back. She had to retreat quickly before the other students saw her resolve come down like the Confederate capital at…some city that began with an R._

_She jumped into her car and slammed the door, catching her purse. "Son of a bitch!" she shouted, opening the door again, jerking the purse inside, and then pulling the door shut with so much force that the car shook. She put her face in her hands and let the tears come._

_She'd studied for that test. She'd done everything she was supposed to do, gone over the study guide, looked at her corrections on the paper that made her heart sink every time she saw the grade, and eaten well that morning. She'd come to the test with a clear, sober mind that she thought had had all the right pieces of information inside of it._

_And she'd failed. She'd flat out failed._

_Penny drew her knees up and rested her forehead on them, shaking as she cried. Her legs pressed up against the steering wheel and she momentarily was grateful that the horn wasn't working because that would have drawn more attention to her than she'd wanted._

_Penny stayed curled up in her car until her eyes were sore and her throat hurt from the gasping that accompanied crying. She just couldn't figure out how she could try so hard and have absolutely nothing to show for it._

_Maybe it just wasn't for her to understand. Clearly she wasn't meant to understand much._

_But she wanted to. She wanted to so very badly.  
_

**So it has been about five hours since I started writing this chapter. That's how productive I can be when I'm home. :/ I guess vacation mindset + family being around = Nicole Gets Nothing Done. **

**On the plus side, I promised you all you wouldn't have to wait eleven days for an update…and it hasn't been eleven days! *pats self on the back* Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and when I can, I'll write the next one.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Very sorry for the lack of updates – I've had finals and moving back home for the semester break. But now I'm able to update again, so here's another chapter! It is partly flashback and part in the present – italicized paragraphs are flashbacks.**

"You failed your test?" Amy asked.

Penny curled herself into a tighter ball on the couch and hugged the pillow to her face.

Amy and Bernadette exchanged a look. "Penny?" the other blonde said.

Penny shook her head, her face still buried in the pillow.

"Hey," Bernadette said, kneeling down in front of the couch, pushing the coffee table forward a bit to make room. "Penny. What happened?"

Penny shook her head again.

Amy and Bernadette looked at each other. "How did you fail?" Bernadette asked. "You told us…"

"_I can't tonight," Penny said. "I have a test I need to study for. Civil War. It's tomorrow."_

"_You've been studying every night for the past week," Amy said. "We won't be out too late. And you don't have an early morning class."_

"_I know," Penny said. "But I want to make sure I ace it."_

"_I'm sure you will," Amy said. "It's a history class."_

_Penny cocked her head. "What is that supposed to mean?"_

"_You want to be an actress, right?" Amy asked._

"_Yes," Penny said. "Well, I mean…I think so."_

"_History," Amy said. "Memorize the facts. You can do it, Bestie."_

"_I know I can," Penny said. "I'm just…nervous, I guess."_

"_If you've been studying every night like you say," Bernadette said. "You should be totally fine."_

"_I know." Penny smiled. "But I'd rather go over everything one more time. You guys have fun tonight."_

"Penny," Amy said gently, walking around to her friend's head and putting a hand on her hair. "Were you really studying all those nights?"

Penny's head shot up and she looked at the neurobiologist, eyes flashing. "Excuse me?"

"Hey," Bernadette said. "We know how easy it is to get distracted…"

"So…so…" Penny sat up and held the pillow in her lap. "So you're saying that I'm failing because I must not be trying?"

Bernadette and Amy looked at one another again. "Careful, she's hot," Amy said through her teeth.

Bernadette gave a small nod. "Penny …"

"No, no, it's fine," Penny said, crossing her arms. "It's better than the truth."

"Wh…" Amy looked at Bernadette before continuing. "What's the truth?"

Penny let out a sharp breath and put her fingers up to her eyes. "That I'm just that stupid."

"Penny." From her kneeling position, Bernadette put a hand on her friend's knee.

Penny shook her head. "I did everything I could. I studied, I looked over past work, and then I get the test back with that big fat 'F' on it, and when Leonard asks if I'd like to do anything I get angry at him and pretend that I still have a test to study for and no, I'm not cramming, because that would be stupid, and I wasn't lying to him, I was being responsible, nothing like when I was at the community college in Omaha…" she trailed off, sucking in a breath. "This time I did everything right. And I still fail."

"Oh, Penny," Bernadette said, moving to the couch and taking her friend in her arms. "Do you want us to help you?"

"I don't know," Penny said. "I wanted to do this myself. Pass or fail, I wanted it to be me. That's why I refused Leonard's help. And I don't know if there's enough time left to raise my grade. We just have this partner project and the final."

"Who is your partner for the project?" Amy asked.

"This guy Cole," Penny said. "He's new here, he's from England. I'm the dumb one who gets embarrassed in class whenever she volunteers an answer, and he's the new kid with no friends."

"No one wanted to be his partner?" Amy said. "Wouldn't the women be all over his accent?"

"Maybe," Penny said. "But I nabbed him first. His voice is the best."

"If you need any help," Bernadette said. "Amy and I are here. Okay?" Amy nodded in agreement.

"I actually do need a little help," Penny said. "I need you to not tell Leonard."

"He must suspect something," Bernadette said, "Considering how much you've been stressing out."

"He thinks it's just because of balancing school and work," Penny said. "If he gets too nosy, then…I distract him. Like the day I told him my test was, when he asked me what happened at class."

_She crossed the space between them and jumped up, wrapping her legs around his hips and her arms around his neck. As she felt his arms come up to support her, she moved her hands to the sides of his face and worked her mouth against his._

"_Ah," Leonard said when she moved her lips to the right side of his face. "I hope this isn't your answer to my question."_

_She moved her lips back to his mouth so he wouldn't talk, and he accepted the kiss with one of his own. But after another moment, he pushed Penny away from his lips. "Penny…are you sure? You've been so listless today."_

"_Leonard," she said, "It's just been a long day." She dropped back to the ground, standing on her own two feet. "I had class, then work, and we haven't had sex in a week…"_

"_Because of your studying," Leonard said._

"_Exactly," Penny said. "And the test has happened. Now I want to make it up to you." She stepped closer to him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "Do you really want to find out mundane details about the Civil War that you probably already know?"_

"_Would I really know them?" Leonard asked, the tone of his voice odd._

_Penny cocked her head. "I'll knock my Care Bears to the floor so they can't stare at you. And that might give you a bit of visibility in the mirror."_

"_Hmmmm," Leonard said, smiling. "You've thought of everything, haven't you?"_

"_Of course," Penny said, taking his hand and pulling him toward her bedroom, eager to reemphasize that she was good for something._

"You're having sex with him to _prove you're good at something?_" Amy asked.

"That's not a very healthy mindset," Bernadette said.

Penny sighed. "But…" she said, aware of how much her voice sounded like a whine, "what else do I have to offer him? Or even myself?"

"Penny, you're a beautiful, kind, funny woman," Amy said. "And that's sexuality aside."

"Leonard loves you, Penny," Bernadette said. "You don't have to be a genius."

"I know he doesn't need me to be smart for him to love me," Penny said. "But I feel like I have to be smart to love _him_."

"So you will only love him if you're getting good grades?" Amy asked.

"No," Penny said, "I mean…"

"Do you love him?" Bernadette asked.

Penny bit her lip, tears springing to her eyes, and she ran her fingers over the pillow on her lap.

"Hoo boy," Amy said. "You've got a lot on your plate."

"And I'm still losing weight," she said wryly.

"One thing at a time," Bernadette said. "But let me tell you this. You guys are in a relationship. Don't keep your struggle from him."

"I just wanted him to be proud of me," Penny said. "I thought that if I worked this hard…it's just a community college!"

"Ask him for help," Bernadette told her. "He wants to be there for you, and from what you say, he suspects that you're hiding something. Let him in, Penny."

Penny shook her head. "I don't know if I can."

Amy reached over and slapped the waitress across the face. Penny reacted, leaning away from the brunette and putting her hand up to her cheek. "Amy! What was that for?"

"You have a lot to learn," Amy told her, standing up. "And I'm not talking about your history grade."


	6. Chapter 6

**Oh, you guys, I am SO sorry for the lengthy delay in updating. It will not happen again, I promise. At least not for this fic. :P I've had holidays, of course, plus other family stuff, other fics, and beginning to write a sequel to The Parental Ambition that I should not be writing but am anyway, just to see if I can make a story out of it that makes sense. So that took up a bit of my time, but here is the next chapter, just one scene, I apologize, but I hope to follow up in the next couple of days. : )**

**I still own nothing. Balls.**

Bernadette looked up from the sample she was manipulating, startled, and then realized that the person at her door was Leonard, not anyone who might notice that what she was doing was not exactly what her research grant specified. "Oh," she said, putting her equipment down but not sliding off the stool because she was taller this way, "hi, Leonard."

"Hey, Bernadette," Leonard said, sounding a fake sort of cheerful. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," she said, looking confused. "Are you okay? You're acting weird."

"How am I acting weird?"

"Well, for starters," the microbiologist said, "you're visiting me in my lab."

"Point taken," Leonard said. "Look, I need advice on something, and for some reason I don't think that Sheldon is going to be much help."

"What gave you that impression?" Bernadette asked.

"Well, you'd think knowing him for more than five seconds," Leonard said, "but I tried to get him to help me and he just wanted to talk about his own problems."

"Ooh yeah," Bernadette said, nodding slowly. "That does sound like him."

"Here's the thing," Leonard said, leaning on the table. "You know how Penny's in that class."

Bernadette's guard went up faster than the shuttle that had taken Howard to space. "Yes."

"Okay, well, here's the thing." Leonard hesitated. "I read that paper she was turning in a while back, and…and it was pretty bad."

"Oh?" Bernadette said stiffly.

"Yeah." Leonard toyed with his sleeve. "And I…I know how much pressure she puts on herself. I don't know how strict the professor grades, but I can't imagine she's doing well. But I can't say anything to her, because she'll know I read it, and I know how badly she wants to do this herself. But I'm worried that if she doesn't do well, she'll be discouraged and quit."

"Is it okay with you if she quits?" Bernadette asked.

"Of course," Leonard said. "I mean…I mean I don't want her to do this because she thinks that I'm pressuring her, but when someone you care about shows an interest in something you're so passionate about…isn't it natural to hope that they keep it up? It's like a part of your life that you want to share with them, and she's shown me so much of her world that I can't help but want her to know mine. But if she doesn't like it, it's fine, I mean," he shrugged. "I love her. But I don't want her to get upset and frustrated if this doesn't work out."

"I understand," Bernadette said. "Like how Howard feels inadequate because of my PhD."

"Yes!" Leonard said. "Like that, exactly like that. Well, not _exactly_ like that, but…you know." He looked uncomfortable. "So what should I do? I'm still learning how to act when she's like this."

"Do you think that she's keeping this stuff from you because she feels insecure?"

Leonard shrugged. "I don't know, maybe. Though I'm the insecure one, so it's not like I jump to a conclusion like that."

"Then just make sure she knows that you love her whether she's in the class or not. Whether she aces it or fails it. Whether she wants to be there or not. Then she might feel more comfortable asking you because she won't be afraid that it will reveal something about her that might drive you away."

"I can't do that, Bernadette," Leonard said.

"Why not?" Bernadette asked.

"Because…" Leonard's elbows were resting on the table, and his hands were clasped together. He brought his hands up to his face and rested them against his forehead. "Because she's never said that she loves me. The last time I told her, she left me."

"If she's so concerned about what you think of her…" Bernadette started.

"I can't," Leonard said. "I do, I do a lot, but I can't. She'll feel like I'm pressuring her to say it back again."

"You didn't pressure her last time," Bernadette said.

"Eh…" Leonard said. "I might have…just a little bit a lot."

"Oh."

"But still," Leonard said, "I can try your thing. I can. I'll just find some way to tell her that I love her without using that word and scaring her off." He straightened up. "Thank you, Bernadette."

Bernadette nodded slowly, not sure if she'd said enough but not wanting to interfere despite how well she felt she knew Penny's feelings about the whole situation. "If…if you need any more advice, Leonard," she said. "You know where to find me."

"That I do!" he said, smiling. "Thanks, Bernadette."


	7. Chapter 7

**I have classes today – I'm actually in one right now – but I feel so guilty making you guys go ten days without an update that I had to finish the last few paragraphs of this while in class. There will probably be two more chapters.**

**I still don't own anything. Rats.  
**

All of Leonard's plans to talk to Penny went out the window the instant he got home, which, he thought, was probably a good thing since he really hadn't figured out what to say to her. But any fragments he'd managed to collect into his thoughts vaporized instantly when he opened the door to her apartment without knocking and found her sprawled out on the couch, sobbing.

"Penny?"

Her head flew up. "God, Leonard, don't you knock?"

"Penny, what's wrong?" he asked, hurrying over to the couch. Penny sat up and looked the other way. "Penny, what is it? Are your parents okay?"

"They're _fine_," she said, wiping her nose and still not looking at him. "It's fine, everything's fine," she added, waving her hands dismissively.

"Penny, don't do this," he said.

She looked over at him – finally. "Don't do what?"

"This," he said. "I come home to find you…crying on the couch, and still you swear nothing is wrong? Don't shut me out, Penny. That's not good for you or the relationship."

Penny blinked rapidly, her lips shaking, and it hurt Leonard to see how hard she was trying not to keep crying.

"Hey, just…" She looked at him, her eyes telling Leonard that she was about to shut down, deny anything, keep all her feeling to herself, and without saying anything else, he scooted closer and pulled her toward him. He half expected her to stiffen up and resist, and was so very glad when she didn't. "You don't have to talk. Just cry."

"Leonard why am I stupid?" she asked, her voice sounding high and squeaky like it always did when she was crying.

Leonard felt tears coming to his own eyes, and he blinked them back. "You're not stupid, Penny."

"Yeah, well I have to get an A on this final paper to pass my stupid class and if I am in that bad of a situation then I'm not likely to suddenly do well."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" he asked.

"Ugh," Penny pulled away from him and stood up, her back to him. "Because I wanted to do it myself, pass or fail." She walked over to the kitchen and reached for a bottle of alcohol. "And I've worked so hard, and for nothing. It's so damn frustrating." She set the bottle on the table and looked over at him. "I wanted you to be proud of me."

"Penny," Leonard said, jumping up. "I _am_ proud of you. Some people wouldn't look into doing something else if their primary career idea wasn't panning out the way they wanted it to. But you, you're trying other things."

Penny frowned. "So you're saying I'm a terrible actress who is going back to school because the alternative is, like, porno movies or something?"

"See," Leonard said, feeling a flash of anger, "that's our problem. I try to make you feel better and you make it seem like I live to be condescending. I didn't say _anything_ like that. I'm trying to help."

Penny sighed heavily. "I know, I know." She looked at the bottle but made no move to open it. "I'm sorry. It's just frustrating when you try so hard but you don't get anywhere. You don't know what that's like."

"Actually," Leonard said. "What you're describing is like my lifelong struggle for my mother's approval."

Penny suddenly was the one giving the sympathetic face. "Oh, Leonard."

He shrugged. "I'm over it. It's not like I know what having someone love you is like, so I didn't grow up all those years _missing_ it."

"Just like I didn't grow up all those years being smart?"

"You are smart," Leonard said, giving the answer that he should have all those years ago when they'd tried dating for the first time. "One class isn't enough to measure intelligence." He reached across the island, and she smiled and met his hand in the middle with one of her own. "Okay? And here you have someone who will help you, understand? Not because I think you can't do it. School is just my thing. Like how Sheldon asked you for acting lessons, or we ask what special you recommend at the restaurant."

"Because it's actually smart to ask someone for help in a field that they know, right?" Penny said, cocking her head.

Leonard gave a small smile, nodding slowly. "Right."

"Leonard Hofstadter," Penny said, squeezing his hand. "Could you help me on my final paper?"

He smiled, closed his eyes, and nodded, and she let go of his hand and ran around the island to throw her arms around him.

"H-hey," he said affectionately, shifting their positions slightly so he could hug her back.

She leaned back and looked at him, and he frowned slightly, wanting to smile at her, but the look on her face was so unlike anything he'd seen before, so focused, so intense, that he wasn't sure what the heck she was thinking. Finally, he ran out of guesses. "What?"

She looked at him another second, then smiled and gave a little shake of the head. "Nothing."

Leonard wasn't sure what had just happened, but at the moment he really didn't care. He was too relieved that Penny wasn't keeping secrets from him anymore. He was too relieved that she didn't snap at him when he made known his frustrations over her making him always seem condescending. And he was too relieved that she was relaxed in his arms now.


	8. Chapter 8

**Here's the next chapter! There will be one more after this one. Again, apologies for the wait. This chapter skips forward just a bit, to around the end of Penny's class.**

"Leonard, I can't do this, okay?" Penny chucked the practice test at him. "Ugh. A 'C', after all that studying we just did? And the studying we've done the past six days? It's the day after tomorrow."

"Hey, he said, sitting sideways on her couch to face her, "you got eight more right this time, simply re taking it after reviewing your answers, without even knowing what ones you got wrong. Let's just go through them."

"Fine," Penny said. "I just wish it came naturally to me like it does you."

"Don't worry," Leonard said. "Sometimes a person just has to work for something – especially when one goes the entire semester thinking the final is a paper and then they realize a week before that it's an exam…"

"Okay, okay!" Penny said. "We've established I don't read things carefully enough. Can we please move on?"

"Sorry," Leonard said. "I'm just saying, sometimes things don't come easily. It happens. That was me in gym class."

"I bet you were adorable in gym class," Penny said, grinning.

"We're not talking about me right now," Leonard said quickly. "Let's talk about…"

"How I look adorable in history class?"

"Or ways to do better on multiple choice."

"Pick C more often?"

"You pick C often enough," Leonard said, looking at her list of answers. "I was thinking deductive reasoning."

Penny cocked her head. "Explain please."

"Okay," Leonard said patiently. "Take this one for example. The question 'what contributed the most to the continuation of slavery in the United States in the nineteenth century'? The options are A. George Washington's farewell address, B. the end of the Atlantic Slave Trade, C. the cotton gin, or D. A higher number of indentured servants."

"I got that one wrong, Leonard," Penny said, annoyed.

"I know," he said, looking back at the practice exam. "Let's work this down, okay? The first option, Washington's farewell address, what do you know about that?"

Penny frowned. "Not much," she said. "I think we only mentioned it because he talked about sectionalism."

"Okay," Leonard said. "So it's not a main theme of the course. For now, let's say that isn't right, okay?"

"Okay."

"Now option B. This is what you said. The end of the Atlantic Slave Trade. What did the Atlantic Slave Trade do?"

"It brought slaves to America," Penny said. "Oh! It ending meant that there wouldn't be a steady supply. So in order for slavery to keep happening, they had to keep them going with who was already here."

"Good!" Leonard said, patting her knee. "And they were bringing mostly males over from Africa, so the end of the slave trade forced the gender ratio to stabilize, too. Okay, next option, C. the cotton gin. What do you know about the cotton gin?"

"Um…I know it's familiar…that's the right answer," Penny said.

"Okay, why is it the right answer?"

"I don't know! It's option C!"

"You need to get weaned off of that," he said. "It's not always C if you don't know. C is no more likely than any other option, except maybe E, since there isn't always an E choice, which would of course mean that…"

"Come back, Leonard." Penny said, gesturing with her hands. "Back to the point."

"Right. Sorry. Okay, look at the next option," Leonard said. "What do you think about that?"

"More indentured servants?" Penny said. "That wouldn't be right. If more people were coming over to work, they wouldn't need more slaves. Unless they needed more people after the indentured time was up…"

"Hey hey!" Leonard said. "You're pulling a me, here. Stop overthinking. Your initial logic is good. More people working for them means less people they have to buy. So that's out. And what answer of A and C is better?"

"C," Penny said. "The cotton gin."

"Because?" Leonard prompted. "And don't say 'because it's option C'."

" It made cotton farming more efficient, or something."

Leonard slapped the test down on her leg. "There's my girl," he said proudly.

"It's right?" Penny asked.

"Uh – huh!"

"Aaah!" Penny squealed, leaning forward to throw her arms around Leonard's neck. "Oh," she said, pulling back, "how am I supposed to have time to do that for every question?"

"You don't need it for every question," Leonard said. "You got a C on this practice exam. You only would have to do this for the ones that you got wrong. And you'll get some of the ones you do this deductive reasoning for wrong. But it will help you get some of them right."

"But Leonard," Penny said. "I have to get a B on this final to even _pass_ the class."

"So we study some more," Leonard said. "Get you an A on the final."

"Leonard, I don't think that…"

"Hey!" Leonard said, shaking his head. "We're not thinking like that. I have faith in you. And tomorrow night we'll take a break from studying and go out to dinner and not talk about school at all. Okay?"

Penny gave him a small smile. "Really?"

"Of course," he said, leaning over to kiss her. "You wanna do the deduction on the other problems?"

Penny raised an eyebrow. "You can't just kiss me and then ask if I wanna do more homework," she chided. "Let's make out."

Leonard looked at his watch. "We have a schedule…"

"There's a five minute break in the schedule at four thirty," Penny said. "It's four ten. Let's just take the break now."

Leonard smiled at her. "Okay," he said, reaching for the oven timer and cranking it to the five minute mark. "Five minutes."

"Kay, Penny said, scooting closer to him and putting her lips on his.

* * *

"It's a good thing I'm driving you," Leonard said. "With all the texting you're doing."

"Sorry!" Penny said. "So many friends are wishing me luck on my final." She put her phone in her lap and let out a breath. "Kinda puts the pressure on…"

"No no!" Leonard said. "No pressure. Don't think like that. No pressure. This is about you, okay? Not them."

"I know," she replied. "Oh, and did I tell you how proud I am of you? You promised to not talk about my test during dinner last night, and you only started to mention it about six times, and you never got the full sentence out!"

"I caught myself!" Leonard said. "I was hoping you'd notice that."

Penny laughed. "I did." Her smile was gone in a matter of seconds, and she let out another nervous breath.

"Hey," Leonard said, pulling into the parking lot and locating a spot. "You know this stuff. You're going to pass."

"Maybe. But I still didn't get to do this on my own."

"What do you mean?" Leonard asked. "You're doing this entirely on your own. I didn't write down all the answers and have you memorize them. I just helped you study. This is all you. There's no shame in asking for help."

She nodded, staring out the front window. "I know." She looked back at him and reached over to squeeze his hand. "Okay. Here goes."

"Good luck," Leonard said, leaning over to meet her lips as she reached across the space between them. "Just remember: the cotton gin isn't a beverage, and Stonewall Jackson has nothing to do with Michael Jackson so don't pick the answer that 'sounds the most musical'. Got it?"

Penny gave a nervous laugh. "Got it."

"Okay," Leonard said, motioning with his head toward the building. "Go get 'em."


	9. Chapter 9

**Last chapter, guys! This was updated at 3:20 in the morning because apparently I didn't have anything else to do in the early hours of Saturday, and isn't that just a little sad? ;) Anyway, here you go, hope you enjoyed the fic, and now I need to get some sleep!**

**I still don't own anything. **

Leonard rolled over when Penny's alarm went off again, forty five minutes after the last one. "Penny, just wait until morning. You don't need to check every second."

"The professor said grades would be up between 8pm last night and noon the next day," Penny said. "I need to know, Leonard."

"I thought you said you felt good about the test."

"Damn right I felt good about the test," Penny said. "But I could have done well on the test and not well enough to pass the class."

"I still say sleep would be good for you," Leonard mumbled as she got up and headed for the living room.

"Eh, I wouldn't sleep anyway," Penny said. "I just lay there in between alarms."

"Then why do you have…" Leonard sat up and shook his head. "Never mind." He swung his legs over the side of the bed and got up. He knew why she had the alarm go off. She wanted him to be awake, pass or fail.

"Do you really think the professor will upload grades at two in the morning?" Leonard asked.

"No," Penny said. "But the site can take hours to update. He could have put them in before he went to bed and they're just waiting to show up." Leonard came around the couch and leaned on the back looking over Penny's shoulder as she logged on to her computer and accessed the grade site. She tapped in her name and password, and then her hand snuck up to take hold of Leonard's. He adjusted their finger positions so he could give her a reassuring squeeze.

"You know I'm proud of you no matter what?" Leonard said. "Right?"

Penny leaned her cheek against his hand. "I know"

Leonard smiled with relief that she was able to take his comment for what it was worth, and not as condescension. "Page is up," he said, and Penny jumped, leading him to realize she had momentarily lost focus.

Penny hovered her mouse over the button 'grade report', and looked up at Leonard, as if his reassurance would make her grade better. He smiled down at her and squeezed her hand again. Penny sucked in a breath and then clicked on the button. The page took a bit to load, and then, where blanks had been before, were words. Words and numbers. "It's up," she said nervously, staring at the numbers and trying to make sense of them. Leonard read the results faster than her, and he waited, letting her realize for herself.

Penny let out a shuddered breath. "Leonard," she said, pointing at a spot on the screen. "I got a C minus."

"I told you you killed that final!" Leonard said, leaning over the couch to hug her. She brought her arms up to awkwardly hug him back, and then she pulled away to twist around and throw her arms around him in a proper embrace. He held her close, squeezing her tight. "I'm so proud of you,"

"C minus!" Penny shouted again, pulling back and standing up on the couch. She towered over Leonard. "I made a C minus! I passed!" She spun around on the cushion and almost toppled over. Righting herself, she put her hands on Leonard's shoulders. "Can you believe it? It's all because of you, you know. You helped me study and you supported me and you…"

"Don't blame me for this," Leonard said. "This is all you. All you."

"I led the bull to the barn, but you gave me the rope," Penny said, shaking her head. "Seriously, I love you. This is just so great!" She stood up on the couch again and did another happy dance, realizing after several moments that Leonard was staring at her. "What?"

"Seriously?" Leonard asked, cocking his head, almost afraid to ask the question. "Seriously, you love me?"

Penny's face drained of color as she realized what she'd said, and she stared back at him for a moment, before slowly dropping to her knees on the couch and putting her hands back on his shoulders, nodding slowly. "Seriously."

Both of them became suddenly aware of each other's audible breathing. Then Leonard moved, putting his hands on her sides and kissing her. She kissed him back, and when they broke apart, Penny had tears in her eyes. "Thank you, Leonard," she said. "Thank you for being so great."

"Thank you for trying so hard," Leonard said.

Penny sniffed. "My grade had nothing to do with you."

"I know," Leonard said. "I'm just thanking you for being you. The girl that tries so hard."

"Aww," Penny said, putting a hand on his chest and smiling. "Do or do not, remember?" she teased.

"I remember," Leonard said. "I guess that makes you 'the girl that succeeds'."

"I like it," she said, smiling back at him, wiping away a tear.

He noticed her eyes threatening to leak, and he blinked rapidly, failing to prevent the tears from coming to his own eyes. "Seriously?" he asked again.

She nodded. "One hundred percent."

"Hey," Leonard said in a desperate attempt to use humor to prevent both of them from turning into emotional messes. "That's got to be pretty close to what you got on your final!"

It worked. Penny started to laugh, and then threw her arms around Leonard's neck again, burying her head in his shoulder.

Leonard put his arms back around her and smiled. This class of Penny's had turned out, in every possible way, so much better than he'd thought that morning that he'd snuck a read at her paper.


End file.
